Basketball and the Search for Self
How I found basketball to be a metaphor for life
Basketball has never been my game — until now. That’s because, recently, I had a transformative experience while playing basketball. Although I use the term playing rather generously, I have realized, being a novice was essential for the experience to occur. As a novice I had unlimited creative freedom. My physical efforts were not restricted by any knowledge or expectations of how basketball should be played. Consequently, I was mimicking basketball as I had seen on television, but without any purpose, judgement, or expectation. With this psychological freedom, I discovered that basketball is very much a metaphor for the journey of human living, and can be used as a self-process tool.
“With this psychological freedom, I discovered that basketball is very much a metaphor for the journey of human living, and can be used as a self-process tool.”
It should be said that basketball and I have never really been friends, and have a rocky relationship at best. Having grown up in Australia, playing Australian Rules Football and cricket, it was quite the surprise to suddenly find myself on a basketball court, holding a basketball, and slipping into an ineffable, parallel universe type of experience. But, I can thank my 5 year-old daughter for making it all happen.
When and where I grew up in Australia, basketball was considered a girls game. That is, it was a game for the female gender, or for males who were not manly enough to handle Australian Rules Football, rugby, or cricket. Paradoxically, my personal experience was in contrast to what I witnessed on the (limited) American television shows broadcast in Australia (at the time, there was no national basketball league in Australia, and the American NBL was not televised).
In those television shows, basketball was always depicted as a game played by non-white males from lower socio-economic, non-white communities. The basketball court was often the scene where police would meet their informants, or where police chases would begin. Furthermore, the basketball players were predominantly presented as street-hardened males. This image was in stark contrast to my experience of basketball players in Australia. While both of my experiences contributed psychologically, my Americanized experience was primarily limited to my visual and audible senses, yet my Australianized experience integrated all the senses and was solidified somatically. Significantly, reflecting on my transformative experience, I recognized the televised exposure of the Americanized game I had during my early years set the foundation for my recent experience.
“The ball had not just been left there, nor was its presence that day accidental. I had seen it there before, numerous times, literally as if calling me.”
I had taken my daughter out to play, and to introduce us both to pickle ball. Neither of us had played before, so I thought it could be something fun to do together. However, my daughter, being a 5 year-old and not really able to hit the ball, was soon drawn towards a basketball sitting idly two courts away. We were alone there, with nobody in sight. It was in the middle of a work/school day in a quiet suburban neighborhood. The ball had not just been left there, nor was its presence that day accidental. I had seen it there before, numerous times, literally as if calling me. Yet, too busy in my ego-self, I failed to hear the calling.
My daughter ran towards the ball, beckoning me to follow, “daddy, daddy, let’s play with the ball.” I had no choice (ok, I did, but she is 5, it’s all about her), I followed her expressing ingenuine excitement.
“ . . . too busy in my ego-self, I failed to hear the calling.”
She excitedly picked up the basketball and began bouncing it, each slap on the ball accompanied by a artful vocal grunt (something she picked up from one of her cartoons where the volume of the character’s grunt corresponds to the effort put forth in saving the day). Using both hands and accompanied by her ferocious grunt, she throws the ball underarm towards the ring, only to be savagely defeated by gravity with each attempt. After four or five attempts, she gives up, throwing the ball to me instead, telling me, “here daddy, you do it.”
Suddenly, as if there was no time or space between my childhood basketball experiences and now, I stood there on the court with a basketball in my hands (thank you off-spring). It felt as if time stood still. How did I get here? My memories suddenly appear out of nowhere, pouring over me like a cascading waterfall. I’m having countless experiences simultaneously, and all instigated by my 5 year-old daughter! WTF!
“ . . . all instigated by my 5 year-old daughter! WTF!”
I stand still for as long as I can, taking it all in, noticing my experiences and letting them flood all my senses. As much as I want to just stand motionless, observing it all, it isn’t long before I hear, “c’mon daddy, throw the ball, throw the ball.” I try to remain connected to my alternate world while simultaneously reconnecting with my daughter — this is an experience too valuable to bypass.
Somehow, it’s as if she’s connected to this alternate world I’m experiencing, and her intention is to connect me with it. She tells me to “make a goal”, and with every attempt she runs to retrieve the ball, grunting as she throws it, or kicks it back to me.
“ . . . this is an experience too valuable to bypass.”
While observing my own experience, I simultaneously observe her, and how she’s doing things that I’ve never seen her do before; things that allow me to remain engaged with my alternate world experience. Our roles have somewhat switched. From being the one desiring constant attention and observation, she is now observing me, and doing things that allow me to step away momentarily from being her daddy to being the one observed in this alternate state of being.
I don’t know how long we were there for, but it was as if time stood still while I was flooded with experiences. During this period, I learnt how basketball can be a metaphor for one’s life journey and search for Self (as in the Jungian Self), and a catalyst for meaningful insights. Please note, the experiences I had correspond to the experience of basketball in my life. I have not researched the game to enhance what I’m sharing here. To do so would be contrived. The transformative experience I had is a piece of the pie of my life. That is, the piece only exists because of the whole.
“The transformative experience I had is a piece of the pie of my life. That is, the piece only exists because of the whole.”
At one stage of my life, I was leading wilderness rite of passage rituals (WRoP). A major aspect of the ritual was the belief that each new day was literally a new beginning. Everything in the past is a memory, and memories can be altered and inconsistent (this is why we should always live in the present). Without going into great detail, the process of the WRoP is to obtain deep and meaningful insights. I discovered that because I was unknowingly implementing aspects of the WRoP ritual, I could somewhat mimic the WRoP process playing basketball.
Stepping onto the court, is akin to stepping into life. We make a choice to play, as we make a choice to live. The basketball court is the stage for the game, as the earth is the stage for life. A game of basketball is a form of journey, as is life; each with a beginning, middle, and end. Basketball has rules and boundaries, as does life. In basketball and life, these may be determined by nature, culture, society, religion, belief systems, quality of the league, the number of players, the length of the game, et cetera (some of these influences appear to correlate to basketball or life specifically, however with a little creative thinking, you can apply them to either). Additionally, breach of the rules brings consequences; a foul in basketball, police citation in life; ejection in basketball, ejection from family or community in life; suspension from playing in basketball, conviction and imprisonment in life.
When I take possession of the ball, I’m taking control of something in my life (there are metaphors for this in life — take the ball with both hands, and run with the ball). I may request the ball, or it may come to me in what appears as a random play (nothing is random though). Either way, the ball is now in my hands, and how to proceed is my choice. My choice is influenced by my surrounding environment (present moment), what I know (passed experience), and the events unfolding in the present moment (akin to life).
At times I move down the court (move through life) and I see an opening (opportunity). I don’t just see the opening though, I HAVE created the opening (opportunity) through my past actions. Opportunities are there to be seized — it’s now my choice. With ball in hand (my experience and awareness), I seize the opening the best I can.
At other times, there is no obvious opening, so I move up the court (through life) with curiosity, and purpose; observing, patiently waiting for an opportunity to appear that I have created. At times like this, it’s all about observation, awareness, and patience. I must reflect; where do I feel I am in life right now? What is the feeling on the court right now and how does it reflect my current life?
“ . . . patiently waiting for an opportunity to appear that I have created.”
Seizing opportunities as they arise, my expertise grows. And as I near my goal, I become increasingly vigilant. Constantly sizing up my environment, I use my experience to select my best approach, the one most likely to bring success. But, I must also make choices based on risk and reward. Do I take a chance, a gamble, and shoot from outside the 3-point line? What is the chance of success? Do I need to take this kind of risk for the reward? Or, am I better served continuing on my path, bringing myself closer to my goal to increase the chance of success, albeit with what appears to be a smaller reward? Ultimately, what is my goal? What is it I seek from this aspect of my journey?
Sometimes I am successful, and sometimes I am not. Sometimes I need to take a step back, regroup and make changes before moving forward again with a new strategy. With each play, I learn more about myself, and most significantly, what and who I am not. As Jung (2002) noted, “Individuation is not only an upward but also a downward process” (p. 155).
“Individuation is not only an upward but also a downward process.” — Jung
So the game goes on, as life does. And from each play I make, I gain more experience, more knowledge, and with reflection, more wisdom. With this, I am a new person, ready to make a new play (ready for a new day as a new person). Although at times it may seem as if it is, the ultimate goal is not to win the game, but the critical steps to individualize (Hopcke, 1989; Humbert, 1988; Jung, 1954/1975, 2002), or self-actualize (Maslow, 1943, 1970; C. R. Rogers, 1951). The desire of the self is to win the game. But the desire of the Self is individuation, a goal much greater than any game.
“ . . . the ultimate goal is not to win the game, but the critical steps to individualize.”
So, what were my insights?
My daughter kept telling me to “get a goal daddy, get a goal.” Consequently, as she was leading me, I spent the time trying to get the damn ball through that little ring! She demanded 10 from me, and as much as I tried, I only had three before she called time. I was trying for a long time though, and I was significantly surprised how many times I was so close, yet the ball just didn’t go through the hoop. It began as a WTF moment, until I realized this was actually my a-hamoment.
You see, at that time in my life, I had many projects underway; too many to really keep up with and remember what stage each was at. Later that day, after my experience, I sat down to review them all. I realized the majority were almost done (like the basketball circling the ring, looking to drop, but then rolling over the edge and falling outside — almost, but not quite). I realized I needed to just sit and focus on one at a time, to begin finishing them. And, that’s what I’ve been doing since. As I complete a project or task, there is a little less weight on my shoulders, a little more pride for finishing, and a little more time for my daughter to bring me more great experiences. Had I not played basketball with my daughter that day, I would not have had theses insights, and I would still have all the projects and tasks, uncompleted. I also learnt something else about myself and projects, but I’ll leave that for another story.
Conclusion
Although I was playing basketball, key to my process were aspects from the WRoP ritual; primarily, solitude and silence. I was able to maintain a sense of this as my daughter and I had been alone the entire time, with nobody in sight. Surprisingly, I was able to maintain this sense even with my 5 year-old daughter dictating every move. I don’t believe I could have done this with another adult, but there’s a reason for that (and yes, I’ll save that for another story also). Significantly, of solitude and silence, Black Elk explained, the greatest power when questing for a vision is contact with silence, “for is not silence the very voice of the Great Spirit?” (as cited in J. E. Brown, 2007, p. 60). Having people around can be distracting, and draw one away from the inner place where insights arise. Most significant though, is how any other individuals are preset for you during the process.
“The greatest power when questing for a vision is contact with silence, ‘for is not silence the very voice of the Great Spirit?’” — Black Elk
Additionally, I needed to be acutely aware of everything I was experiencing (something I constantly emphasize to my clients). Being a basketball novice helped, as it recused me of any psychological restraints from expectations. I also needed to maintain a constant internal dialogue (another practice I am constantly emphasizing to my clients). The dialogue acknowledged the experiences I was having, further emphasizing my awareness, and stimulating a stream of consciousness like a cascading waterfall, unimpeded by any desire to succeed in what I was doing physically.
Lastly, the basketball we used, which found us on the court, we left there for others to use. But, I immediately purchased one, size “Youth”, so my daughter can join in with me ASAP.
References
Brown, J. E. (2007). The spiritual legacy of the American Indian (M. Brown Weatherly, E. Brown, & M. O. Fitzgerald, Eds.). World Wisdom.
Hopcke, R. H. (1989). A guided tour of the collected works of C. G. Jung. Shambhala.
Humbert, E. (1988). C. G. Jung: The fundamentals of theory and practice (R. G. Jalbert, Trans.). Chiron.
Jung, C. G. (1975). The collected works of C. G. Jung, Vol. 16: Practice of psychotherapy: Essays on the psychology of the transference and other subjects (H. Read, M. Fordham, & G. Adler, Eds., & R. F. C. Hull, Trans.). Princeton University Press. https://tinyurl.com/s7xgzwp (Original work published 1954).
Jung, C. G. (2002). The earth has a soul: C.G. Jung on nature, technology & modern life (M. Sabini, Ed.). North Atlantic Books.
Maslow, A. H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Start Publishing.
Maslow, A. H. (1970). Motivation and personality (2nd ed.). Harper & Row.
Rogers, C. R. (1951). Client-centered therapy. Constable & Robinson.
